Parenting

During my morning devotion time the other day I was struck by the concept of parents. It is so much more than I realized. We live in a pretty selfish society. People are generally only concerned with themselves and then with others when it is convenient for them. But if your parenting is going to be any good it has to be unselfish. It has to be about your child and not about you. As soon as it becomes about you, it turns bad. 
When I had Claire I was so struck by the unselfishness of parenting that I was depressed for months about losing my freedom, my choices and, I guess, my selfishness. All decisions now surrounded around Claire where as before they were all about me and what I felt like. I couldn't believe that I wasn't even able to decide and take care of my most basic needs on my own timing. It was Claire who decided when it was time to eat, when I could sleep, if I had time to go to the bathroom and she didn't even know it.

As I began to accept that my life was going to have to be a lot less about myself, I started to enjoy being a mom much more. I also began to realize that unselfishness is like exercise. Just like you have to work out often to build up endurance, you also have to practice being unselfish often in order for it not to be so much of a sacrifice. Soon you get used to a certain amount of unselfishness and then you push yourself on to the next level. 
Having Claire was more like a crash course in unselfishness or a bootcamp, if you will. I was so sore and unhappy about all that I was giving up for her for the first little while, but soon I began to enjoy being a mom and letting my self centeredness go. I realized that I liked the person I was becoming much more than the selfish person I was leaving behind.